being with a guy who is a few years ahead of me, and has experienced more things than me who is merely taking baby steps into the real world, had me facing stuff i'd never thought i'd encounter.

let's just say, i had to pick up the pieces, mend them and after than accept th fact that he was once broken and yet, i still fall in love with him. if anything i would say, it was never a burden.

it's like a stepping stone, a learning journey, taking another step to get to know him better. but though it used to be so painful, i might have gotten over it, or accepted it.

and yes, i'm referring to the girls who was in his life before me. there were a few, who had captured his heart, whom he once loved. they were the ones who had him smitten, and taught him love. the ones who had once love him, accepted him and brought happiness like i did. the ones who had made him laugh, seen him cry. whom he spend his nights missing, whose hands he once held, whose lips he once kissed. 

there was a time, when we got really honest with each other. revealing each of our past relationships. well, i only had one, so yeah. he had a few. and i cant help but compare myself to those girls. they were prettier, skinnier and probably muchmuch better than me. i spend nights comparing myself to them, convinced myself that no matter how much i tried, i can never leave that much impression on his life as the other girls before me. at times, i wished i was them.

those times, every single time he brought up something from his past relationship, i tears me up inside a little. like how they would do these things together or what they could afford to do for him and things they'd sacrifice. then theres me. me. who had nothing to give up for. i live my days like i don't owe th world anything. i lose as much as i gain. and i keep things that made me happy closer. that is me. and falling in love, wasn't really part of th plan. so pretty much. i have nothing to give except for my loyalty, and; though it sounds cheesy- love. because when i love, i love crazy. but with these awesome girls that was before me in his life, how to i compete?

with all said, look where i am right now.

i overcame it. how? confidence and sincerity. give, without expecting anything back. i tried my best to stop comparing. though sometimes, curiosity killed th cat. i always want to know more about his past, knowing it would hurt me sometimes, i still wna know.

who cares bout th past. we're living today, still together. and everyday, he showered me with all these love than is overwhelming, my heart cant even take in. though sometimes, i see a hint of his painful past as he smiles at me, i'll do what it takes, to take away those painful memories, erase them all, treasure the best ones with him, for him. and love him with all of my soul.

give him happiness, without expecting anything back.